And so it begins

This is my sister's fault.

Frankly, I'm pretty happy to ignore the world and my problems for another year or six, but with one semester to go before I'm out of college, it's time to start paying attention to the world.

Hello World.

Frankly, I don't have much to say about the current state of our world. I live in the United States which has all kinds of problems, although I can say with certainty that it's on the high end of the spectrum compared to some of the flaming shit-holes you can find on earth. I've never tried any of this "blogging" stuff, which has always struck me as being suspiciously like running around screaming "Hey look! Stalk me!" It has also struck me as being suspiciously like running around screaming, "Hey look! Make any investigator's life really easy if someone ever wants to poke into your affairs!" This is not to say by any means that I'm worth investigating. I stayed back in first grade, then in junior year after, I'm twenty-four and finally graduating from college this September. I'm the poster child for "rough start", as well as "flying barrels of awkward." For those of you unaware as to what a "flying barrel of awkward is", imagine a conversation where you make homosexual jokes to a homosexual without realizing said person is a homosexual. When the realization hits, (usually when that person says to you, "You cold-hearted bastard! I'm gay!") ... BAM! Struck by a flying barrel of awkward, as you desperately flail for a way to present yourself as anything other than a half-brained cad. Unless of course you're an insensitive bastard, in which case you continue to make homosexual jokes until the person you're talking to runs away bawling like a little girl. Fortunately I ain't that guy.

In theory, I've learned from my many mistakes and gained a fount of wisdom that I can present in a witty fashion to the reading public. I'm lucky though, my mistakes haven't included hard drugs, encounters with the police, or anything illicit. This does not mean my life has been boring. It just means that I'll never end up with a bestseller in Oprah's book club.

My sister told me to do this. She said it would help me with the real world. I guess we'll find out.

All of this said, I hope you all stick around. It may get geeky. It may get personal. And it will always be well written. I didn't spend 4 years at the College of Santa Fe for Creative Writing so I could live in a gutter whilst punching out bad prose! I'll punch out fantastic prose in my gutter! (I'm sorry, we're called the University of Martial Arts and Crafts for Santa Fe College of Epic Fail now. Or something like that. Stupid financial idiocy...)

Shall we begin?